Dear parents everywhere,
To start off, I do not believe for a second that I am qualified to give any kind of advice to parents. Being a parent is a test of faith, ability and patience like none other, and I know that, since I am not yet ready for parenthood, there is little that I can know about parenting. However, I have had personal experience with growing up and being influenced by my family, and I have witnessed varied interactions between my friends and their parents. All of these things have led me to certain conclusions. Teens, no matter how unruly, are not children in the sense that they cannot be reached; sense can be communicated to them. That is why parents should not become exasperated in interactions with their kid, but rather seek a way to reach them. Often, all kids want is a little respect, for which they are willing to give a great deal more in return.
I know that one of the biggest obstacles to healthy parent-child relationships are rigid roles and behavioral patterns that people fall into. With my mother, I find myself in arguments where I am vehemently defending my position while inwardly agreeing with hers. Yet, my stubbornness combined with the fact that I can't communicate with her as openly as I want to keeps us fighting. That is often difficult to overcome from the position of a teen, so I would advise that parents make the effort to understand that their kid is not really set against them as the enemy, but simply feels the need to defend him/herself against unfair accusations, constant nagging, whatever it may be. When parents reach that understanding and make the effort to reach out to their kids, they'll be surprised how many gnarly situations will be instantly defused and how much respect they will get from their teenager.
I feel like I have more to say but I am rather lazy to write it...My last piece of advice to parents is to attempt and succeed at doing the hardest thing a parent can be asked to do: Recognize and accept that your 17-18 year old teen is a thinking, living, individual person that is soon to be materially independent and is already personally and intellectually independent from you. Give them the liberties that come associated with that recognition, and you will see your relationship blossom.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Friday, April 5, 2013
Civic Duty: All People Should...
For some, the question of civic duty would not be very difficult.
"Of course there are things EVERYONE needs to do! Paying taxes! Voting! Reporting suspicious activity!"
I, however, find the concept of civic duty pretty complex. There are certain duties that citizens owe to the government that protects them and ensures a measure of their well-being, but defining civic duty as "ALL people should..." puts quite the spin on the question. As you may know, I am quite the crusader for the rights of individuals, and so I am generally opposed to a binding commitment to a set of actions that are loosely defined as "civic duties." So, we perform them. What does that make us? Good citizens? Virtuous human beings? Not really, but they are widely considered the basic guidelines for how a citizen should behave considering the duty that he owes to his government. My opinion is that civic duties, as defined by the State, should be performed insofar as they do not conflict with one's moral or ethical principles.
I find it difficult to think of myself as governed, even though that is entirely naive and I am wholly governed as a citizen of the U.S. As a result of this mental quirk, I cannot easily agree when someone puts forth a list of things that I MUST do, seemingly by virtue of simply EXISTING. That is easier to conceive as an immigrant to the U.S, because it is, in a sense, an opportunity for me to be here rather than in Belarus, but I would definitely find exception with the idea of rigid civic duties that I MUST perform as a natural-born citizen of America. The civic duties that a government expects its citizens to perform must necessarily reflect its ideology and value system, and so with everything that the government declares and forces on the populace, the question must be: Is what I'm being told to do/believe what I REALLY want to do/ what I rationally believe? If the answer is yes, perform your civic duties. If you find fault with the instructions, don't follow them and write your own. Of course, this comes across as pretty childish, but I think that it really just puts a lot of stock in the individual; something that can rarely, if ever, be done because, unfortunately, people often tend towards idiocy.
I've been rambling (I'm sure it comes across) and I've pretty much exhausted my pool of ideas on this topic, so I guess I'm done. Thanks for reading if you did.
"Of course there are things EVERYONE needs to do! Paying taxes! Voting! Reporting suspicious activity!"
I, however, find the concept of civic duty pretty complex. There are certain duties that citizens owe to the government that protects them and ensures a measure of their well-being, but defining civic duty as "ALL people should..." puts quite the spin on the question. As you may know, I am quite the crusader for the rights of individuals, and so I am generally opposed to a binding commitment to a set of actions that are loosely defined as "civic duties." So, we perform them. What does that make us? Good citizens? Virtuous human beings? Not really, but they are widely considered the basic guidelines for how a citizen should behave considering the duty that he owes to his government. My opinion is that civic duties, as defined by the State, should be performed insofar as they do not conflict with one's moral or ethical principles.
I find it difficult to think of myself as governed, even though that is entirely naive and I am wholly governed as a citizen of the U.S. As a result of this mental quirk, I cannot easily agree when someone puts forth a list of things that I MUST do, seemingly by virtue of simply EXISTING. That is easier to conceive as an immigrant to the U.S, because it is, in a sense, an opportunity for me to be here rather than in Belarus, but I would definitely find exception with the idea of rigid civic duties that I MUST perform as a natural-born citizen of America. The civic duties that a government expects its citizens to perform must necessarily reflect its ideology and value system, and so with everything that the government declares and forces on the populace, the question must be: Is what I'm being told to do/believe what I REALLY want to do/ what I rationally believe? If the answer is yes, perform your civic duties. If you find fault with the instructions, don't follow them and write your own. Of course, this comes across as pretty childish, but I think that it really just puts a lot of stock in the individual; something that can rarely, if ever, be done because, unfortunately, people often tend towards idiocy.
I've been rambling (I'm sure it comes across) and I've pretty much exhausted my pool of ideas on this topic, so I guess I'm done. Thanks for reading if you did.
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