An Open Letter to Parents (Not Your Own)

Dear parents everywhere,

         To start off, I do not believe for a second that I am qualified to give any kind of advice to parents. Being a parent is a test of faith, ability and patience like none other, and I know that, since I am not yet ready for parenthood, there is little that I can know about parenting. However, I have had personal experience with growing up and being influenced by my family, and I have witnessed varied interactions between my friends and their parents. All of these things have led me to certain conclusions. Teens, no matter how unruly, are not children in the sense that they cannot be reached; sense can be communicated to them. That is why parents should not become exasperated in interactions with their kid, but rather seek a way to reach them. Often, all kids want is a little respect, for which they are willing to give a great deal more in return.
          I know that one of the biggest obstacles to healthy parent-child relationships are rigid roles and behavioral patterns that people fall into. With my mother, I find myself in arguments where I am vehemently defending my position while inwardly agreeing with hers. Yet, my stubbornness combined with the fact that I can't communicate with her as openly as I want to keeps us fighting. That is often difficult to overcome from the position of a teen, so I would advise that parents make the effort to understand that their kid is not really set against them as the enemy, but simply feels the need to defend him/herself against unfair accusations, constant nagging, whatever it may be. When parents reach that understanding and make the effort to reach out to their kids, they'll be surprised how many gnarly situations will be instantly defused and how much respect they will get from their teenager.

I feel like I have more to say but I am rather lazy to write it...My last piece of advice to parents is to attempt and succeed at doing the hardest thing a parent can be asked to do: Recognize and accept that your 17-18 year old teen is a thinking, living, individual person that is soon to be materially independent and is already personally and intellectually independent from you. Give them the liberties that come associated with that recognition, and you will see your relationship blossom.